The (not-so) subtle messages in Futurama are the best
Professor got cake tho
I JUST GOOGLED WHAT CAUSES PERIOD PAINS AND APPARENTLY IT’S BECAUSE THE UTERUS CONTRACTS AND THAT CUTS OFF THE FUCKING BLOOD SUPPLY
PEOPLE WITH PERIOD PAINS ARE LITERALLY FEELING THEIR UTERUS TRYING TO KILL ITSELF
hello yes 911 this is an emergency my uterus is trying to kill itself
Fun fact: Cheetahs only attack pray that runs
jesus that is good to know.
Yup, that’s the point you just stay still and let it do whatever the fuck it wants that doesn’t involved you getting eaten.
REALLY FUN FACT for big cats cheetahs are fucking docile as shit
my grandfather ran a cheetah sanctuary in south africa and he’d just lie with them and sleep among them and they’d rub against him and chirp at him they’re big fucking babies
Another Fun Fact: Cheetahs are incredibly nervous animals. One of the (many) reason’s they’re going extinct is that cheetahs are so sensitive and nervous, some of them are literally too nervous to breed. Other’s will breed, but stress themselves out so much that they’ll loose their cubs.
So zoo’s with breeding program’s had to figure out how to make Cheetahs comfortable enough to:
A. Get laid and
B. Not spazz themselves into miscarrying.
So what’d they do?
They gave the cheetahs their very own Service Dogs!
The dogs make them feel safe, protected and secure!
"look at all these weird puppies"
knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit
wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad
That was deep
philosophy is wondering if that means ketchup is a smoothie
That was deeper.
common sense is knowing that ketchup isn’t a damn smoothie you nasty
if we’re in a mutual you should give me your:
social security #’s
So this hot substitute logged into netflix and I wrote down the email with which he did it and used a service (it cost like $2) to find all other accounts connected to that email and I found his (private) twitter so I made a fake twitter of a hot girl and added a bunch of tweets over the course of a month to make it look legit and then I requested to follow him and he let me and he is the most goddamn boring person in the world
you need to be arrested
how can you suck dick like that? there’s no vacuum. his face is always gonna have a draft. you can smell his breath on every side of his face. this nigga can’t be near water no more, he’d drown trying wash his face. he ain’t never gonna replenish his thirst. smh i wish him the best.